New Mexico Adventures

I went on an adventure! My friend and I planned a random trip to
Albuquerque just to see what it looks like.  Here is what happened:

Day 1: It was great because we both woke up at 7:30 the first morning due to the time change so we had all the time we needed to have fun! We did all the sightseeing the first day- saw the petroglyphs, biked by the Rio Grande ditch river, and convinced ourselves that we were going to fall to our deaths when we went up and then back down Sandia Peak in a little 20140506-195239.jpgtram…sweaty palms and breathing techniques both happened. On the way back down there was some alcohol in the system so our terror of dying was more pronounced and we entertained the rest of the people on the tram… which is nice I guess, if my anxiety entertains someone else, it’s cool with me, as long as someone’s laughing while I cry.. I guess I laughed a little too but it was one of those nervous laughs like “hahaha there’s literally nothing that can save us if we start to fall, haha and falling for ten seconds is a really really long time…haha”. Also holding on the poles in the tram wouldn’t do any good, either, but it’s a security thing, ok!? Jeez, stop judging me. Anyways, I am glad to say everyone lived to tell the tale. Sooooooooo ON TO THE NEXT DAY! The next morning we -oh wait! I forgot the part about getting dinner at this place that resembled Tilted Kilt (where all the girls wear short kilts and have big boobs) except these girls’ skirts were made for either dolls or 8 year old girls because the cheeks were showing! It was kind of awkward because they all also had Russian (or something similar) accents and the atmosphere was sketchy and I was pretty convinced we were going to get sold in to sex trafficking. Have you seen Taken!? It was basically almost the same thing… so second near death experience of the day, survived! (Also while 20140506-195333.jpgdriving to dinner, I went to drive through a yellow light which very quickly changed to a red light, and I successfully stopped my vehicle in the middle of an intersection that was empty of cars except for, of course, an officer of the law. Sooooo I just kept driving through the red light and the cop turned and followed us, I was driving slow because I was prettttty sure we were going to get pulled over, we both stopped at the next red light, he didn’t even look over to see who in the holy hell just did that asinine maneuver, he turned left, we went straight…and the moral of that story is, when in New Mexico, you can literally do whatever the fuck you want if you are behind the wheel of a car)  So, then after all those completely unplanned adventures, we didn’t go out and I managed to buy a $4 bottle of wine that was closed with a cork. Question of the day, did I have a corkscrew!? (I’ll give you a hint: no) But, don’t worry, this story turns around as I managed, with the help of a friend who googled and texted me instructions on corkless wine opening techniques, to (drumroll) open the bottle! And the crowd goes wild!!! (the crowd consisting of my friend laying in bed next to me who had suffered a headache for the past 5 hours and was very very excited that she finally got a hold of some Excedrin…so both of our dreams were coming true). The wine tasted like piss water, but that’s beside the point, I accomplished a goal, nobody died that first day and I was proud of both of us.

Sooooo now…ON TO THE NEXT DAY!

Day 2: We woke up hangover and headache-free the next day and the plan was this: to drink with some20140506-195251.jpg friends starting at around noon. But we woke up at 8:30 so we decided to go to Santa Fe in the morning; we would have  for an hour and spent all our money buying everything for everyone. (It is a beautiful city and everyone should go see it given the opportunity) Then we came back, met up with friends (who drove four hours to meet us, El Paso is boring, you guys… or so I hear) and drank all of Albuquerque drier than it already is. Literally, I’m not sure how much beer I actually had but I know that a) it was a lot and b) it was stronger than regular beer and c) I regretfully paid for all of the beer I drank which was kind of disappointing and therefore I didn’t look at my bank statement until the next pay day.

Other than pure excitement of getting to drink in another state, we also saw a double rainbow!!! (Pictured below, it’s hard to see the second one but its there dammit!) Had we been responsible adults who thought that maybe we wouldn’t be going back to our room that night or would be drunk if we did go there, (or just thought anything really) we would have packed at some point before our 7am flight the next morning…Like before we went to go drink…maybe… (I’m sure you can guess the rest of the story from this sentence alone… we didn’t pack by the way in case you didn’t get that 20140506-195300.jpgpart). It was a fun time, with lots of consumption of beer and a little bit of water, lots of money spent and lots of not ending up back in our hotel room. But, two points of which I am proud of:

1) I dropped a pin so that we could find our car. I dropped this pin after drinking a lot so, it didn’t exactly get dropped anywhere around where our car was… but, I was thinking ahead to a certain degree.

2) Before falling asleep, I did set my alarm for 4:30 so that we would wake up on time.

Day 3: Day three was a hilarious disaster. The alarm was set for 4:30 if you will recall (from number 2 above) but we didn’t actually leave the hotel and sit our asses down in the cab until close to 5:30. A lot of laying back down and ‘taking 10’ happened. Also, no thanks to my pin dropping abilities, (although it’s the thought that counts right?) we managed to find our car and mosey back to our own hotel room. By this point it’s like 5:45 and our flight time isn’t changing… it’s still 7:00am. So in my head I’m running around this room like a crazy person trying to gather all my shit together, and I’m pretty sure in reality I was just barely moving from the tired/hungover combination. But I definitely had the adrenaline going so maybe it was a somewhat speedy situation. I’m just aimlessly throwing everything in sight into this tiny little suitcase, and of course, having all sorts of trouble fitting it in there. I bought this little handmade vase for my parents, so as I’m sitting on my suitcase trying to close it, and my friend is yelling at me to hurry up because it’s past 6:00am now, the only thing I’m hoping for is to not find it shattered when we get back to Baltimore. (It was in tact in Baltimore, btw) So, suitcase if finally somehow closed, and we’re off! We get out the door, into the car, driving to the rental car drop off, and when we get there this lady starts lecturing us about how next time we need to fill the tank up before we bring it back (she clearly doesn’t know our story and unfortunately we didn’t have time to fill her in). She was kind enough to not add on the total amount for the gas, only about a third, so I will give her props for that. Now it’s 6:30. I’m running through the airport (this time I actually am running, not like in the hotel room) and I feel everything moving around in my stomach like something bad was gonna happen any second, but… it didn’t. I assume for no other reason than the fact that it was 6:30am on a Sunday, we didn’t miss our flight. We even had time to sit at the gate for about 4 minutes. So, we’re getting on the plane now. At this point, the whole plane is pretty much boarded and so I get a middle seat…between guy number 1 who is reading some bible magazine while simultaneously reading bible quotes from his phone….and guy number 2 who is doing work on his laptop and also understands plane etiquette like to leave me alone because I look like I died. So bible guy keeps asking me all these stupid questions…

Why were you in New Mexico?
What was your favorite part? (I can tell you my least favorite part is now)
I have a personal question, did you septum piercing hurt?

Ok, that’s not personal, and seriously, my head is in my hand, I’m trying to sleep, it’s 7am! Please, please please leave me alone. Eventually, he does, probably because I put my tray table down and fell asleep. I’m not sure if that’s also against plane etiquette but it was either that or I was laying my head on guy number 2’s shoulder while he was making spreadsheets, so I think I’m ok.

When we get off the flight my friend asked how my flight was, so I tell her pretty much whatever I just said up there, and she says, and this is pretty much verbatum:

“Oh you fell asleep? That’s good. I couldn’t close my eyes cause it made me nauseous. So I spent the whole flight staring at a spot in the air and concentrating on not throwing up”

Which definitely beats my flight story and she wins the gold!
All in all, I think we would both agree that trip was a success!


About tijanajirecek

Please enjoy my rants about my everyday life, they come with a twist of humor, and every once in a while a splash of enlightenment. I find myself utterly hilarious and I hope you will too! View all posts by tijanajirecek

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